The Aftermath
by TroubleInTheMaking
Summary: This starts at the opening of episode 5 but was written just before it was aired (used the preview from BBC to write the start) and put together a scene that follows. Please send reviews and let me know if you like it. Obviously, all rights to the BBC. Rated for language used.
1. What now

"Where are they?" Molly screamed it over the thudding of the helicopter behind her.

"Get to the hospital!" Kinders shouted back. He held out his arm to give Molly her kit but she was already on the move. "Molly!" He shouted after her. The rest of section 2 sombrely disembarked the aircraft and began the long trudge back to their tent. Celebration should have been the mood. They got him! THEY TOOK DOWN BADRIA! None of the lads felt like celebrating. Not with the lives of their comrades in the balance, waiting for Lady Luck to cast her spell and swing them back into life, or drop her sword, letting them go.

Molly ran, sprinted as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran into the hospital, tearing round the corners of the long stark white corridors. The last time she was here with Captain James he was holding her tenderly.

"Jackie! What's happening? Where are they?" Molly shouted the words, exhausted from her journey and fearful of what she was about to hear.

"Calm down" Jackie tried to hush Mollys cry.  
>"His pulse his dropping" said one doctor across a hospital bed being wheeled out of theatre.<br>"Bossman." Molly stared at the man with tubes and wires coming out of him from every angle being wheeled past him at such speed she couldn't take in what was happening.  
>"Bleeding controlled Sir" another voice chirped from the moving bed.<br>"Is he gonna be alright?" Molly had tears in her eyes and a look of desperation about her. She was still wearing his blood across her body. Jackie shook her head unknowingly. She couldn't promise anything and it wasn't looking good.

Molly returned to her tent.

"How are they?" Kinders stood up.

"I, umm," Molly couldn't find the words.  
>"How's Smurf and the boss?" Mansfield Mike was looking at her with expectation in his eyes, wishing through his expression for her to tell him they were both fine.<p>

Smurf was forgotten from her mind. She didn't even ask for him. She prayed for Captain James to live.  
>"Smurf? I couldn't find him. Captain James," her voice was shaken and flat as she trailed off again "he, umm, it's not looking good." She was crying, she realised when the warm tears splashed off her shaking hands. "He lost a lot of blood. Jackie said…" Molly's heart was beating so loud she's sure her fellow soldiers could here it pounding, BOOM BOOM BOOM. She felt a pain in her heart so strong that she couldn't breath.<p>

Molly was having a panic attack.

She started to fall forwards. Kinders quickly grabbed her and ordered the other men nearby to help remove her battle kit.

"Breathe Molly, nice and slowly, in, and out. Innnn, and out." Kinders knew there was more than met the eye to Molly and the Captains frequent public banter.

She had just about caught breath when Smurf entered the tent. A sling concealed the bandages around his bullet wound. A cheer rang out around the tent.

"WAHEEEY SMURF!" so pleased to see him alive, section 2 were startled by his response.

"He's dying you little bitch. Stop crying, it's your fault he's dying!"

"Don't give me that shit Smurf, you shot at that innocent farmer, you started the argument that had him distracted! I saved you and not for the first time." They were shouting at the top of their voices.

"Yeah! Well maybe because the girl I want to MARRY AND THE MAN I LOVE LIKE A FATHER ARE SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK." His voice was so loud now it must have been heard across the whole camp. The room was silent.

"Molly? You and the Bossman been at it?" Mansfield Mike asked, confused at what he'd just heard.

"Smurf, why can't you accept that you're my mate? WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME LOVE SOMEONE ELSE?"

"Calm down guys, everyone shut up!" Kinders interrupted "Molly, Captain James is married with a kid. What do you think you're doing?"

"He's not, they're separated, it's why he volunteered for this tour." Her voice became a whisper. "I love him."

Suddenly her whole body was weak. She trembled as her future fell out from under her. Smurf was beginning to pack his things. "Well I don't give a fuck anymore. They're sending me home so try not to kill the rest of my mates while I'm gone." There was silence as Smurf took his pack and stormed out of the tent.

The rest of the platoon stood staring at Molly. She lay collapsed in a heap by her bed. No one rushed to help her. No one ran after Smurf. No one knew what to do and everyone was scared that their next action would be the wrong one. Molly sobbed, choking on each gasp of air. It felt like a lifetime before two of the men picked her up and tucked her into bed. She could hear their whispers and the arguments growing. They all wanted someone to blame. She didn't care if they picked her.

She just wanted her Captain to live.


	2. Smurf

Time seemed to stop as Molly walked slowly down the isle. She hadn't spent much time in churches but it was always for the worst reason that she entered these grand old buildings. Next to her, a mother, weeping to herself in disbelief.

You know it, in the back of your mind that this day could come. Burying one of your comrades; someone you loved like a brother. It's always there in your mind that this day could come. That those you hold dearest could leave this world before you.

It's different for a mother. No one thinks the day will come where they put a child of their own in the ground.

Molly almost fell to her knees as they called it. Time of death,16.23.

She ran to the nearest toilet, pushing the door open. The bang of the door hitting the wall echoed covering the sound as she puked up every last bit of her soul into that loo. She fell to the floor, sobbing for Smurf.

Knowing that she could have seen the signs, knowing in her heart that she couldn't have done anything to stop this tragedy and yet also feeling like if she'd spotted it sooner she could have saved him, she sat in a church pew and looked around. Tears rolled down her cheeks silently. She breathed in deeply. Sometimes it felt like he was the only person fighting her corner. And the plans they'd made...

The words of the service washed over her. She was taken by the grief to the saddest and most lonely place she had ever been. Every corner of her heart ached with regret. How would she ever live life again without seeing him, speaking to him, his name flashing up on her phone screen when he knew, as if telepathically, she was feeling down. Molly stared at phone screen in anticipation.

Nothing.

Why did she even expect it? A coldness came across her entire body. She curled into her bunk, clutching at his mothers ring, the ring he had given her out of love. She sobbed herself into a deep sleep, filled with dreams that turned to nightmares. How would she wake up from the worst nightmare of them all... Life.


	3. Drowning

**This piece follows Molly's grief after Smurfs funeral and looks at how she copes with her emotions before her second tour. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you thought. Don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like it. I want to improve my writing so be honest. Thanks x**

All consuming grief. What does that even mean? Is it that feeling when you can't move? When your body is limp because you have been so drained by the fear of never seeing someone you love ever again that you knees give way when you try to stand and your voice stops making noise no matter how desperately you try to speak, to shout, scream. When you feel nothing but the rush of an ocean that takes the wind from your chest and swallows you up, leaving you hidden in the depths and unable to see the way out? Is that it? Is that was it feeling like? Molly tried to breath but she just couldn't. She slipped under the water of the bath, hoping that as she came up for air the water would wash the salt from her wounds. She breathed in sharply and tried again, this time testing how long it would take. She opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling through the soapy water. She didn't feel the sting in her eyes, she didn't feel the breath leaving her mouth, gently, slowly bubbling up from her lungs. She couldn't feel anything

"Get out of the water." She could hear him. "Get out of the water Molly."

She listened to the soft familiar voice.

"I miss you" she gasped for air as she said it. Smurf was gone but he was watching over her. Molly didn't just think it or believe it, she out right knew it. Her wet hair around her cold shoulders, she got out of the bath and wrapped herself in a towel.

"It's time." She said out loud without realising.

Molly opened her laptop and emailed her CO. It was time for her to move on and that meant returning to Afghan, for now at least.


End file.
